The foreign life.

I often wonder why I stayed, so long. I suppose I got used to it, and it just became a habit, a routine of living. I learned the language and could function well enough. But all along it has remained foreign to me. I feel guilty about this, but I cannot pretend, that there is still a part of me which is unsettled, a part which I refuse to let anyone have - a piece which cannot be manipulated.